Day 22: Sleep
I was going to post a selfie showing you how tired I am but then I looked in the mirror and quickly changed my mind. Let’s just say that today’s look is brought to you by…a sick toddler, not enough sleep & copious amounts of caffeine (which I will likely regret later when I can’t fall asleep…again).
I don’t care what anyone else says; You do not truly appreciate how glorious sleep is until you are a parent. Yes, as teenagers, we all liked to stay up until goodness knows what time grateful for the opportunity to sleep until the early afternoon on weekends, some days remaining in our pajamas until dinner time, but trust me, its not the same.
Once you are a parent, even if your kid sleeps great from early on (like mine did, and still does, usually), there is just something different about sleep once you are a parent, especially a mother. Mother’s brains cannot sleep for some reason, or at least mine can’t.
I had the hardest time falling asleep last night, even after I dosed my son up with tylenol to relieve his fever and ease his pain, and he settled down for the night. It’s not uncommon that I will lay in bed at night, tossing and turning, because I am running through a million things in my head, such as what I forgot to do or what I need to remember to do tomorrow, what groceries we are out of or what clothes need to be washed for the coming days. Last night was even worse, as instead of a to-do list, my mind was just full speed worrying.
My son, who was quite sick, went to bed early and easily but woke after a few hours, screaming and crying from a horrible night terror. He was really out of it, super heavy headed and almost delirious. We calmed him down, made sure he was ok and he went back to sleep eventually but it upset me so much that I couldn’t shake the worry for the rest of the night.
When it was time for me to retire to bed, this time, I couldn’t settle. I just laid awake worrying. Did I put enough water in the humidifier in his room? Will the light on it keep him awake? What if I put too much water in? What if he isn’t warm enough? What if he is too warm? What if he gets so congested that he can’t breathe? What if I don’t hear him on the monitor when he cries out for me. What if…what if…what if.
It took me forever to fall asleep and even once I had, it was a broken, dysfunctional sleep, and I woke feeling completely exhausted and like a total zombie. It is a miracle I have survived the day so far, actually.
So, not only is today a “coffee-in-the-middle-of-the-afternoon” day, it is also a day I am extra grateful for sleep. I am so lucky that my son is a good sleeper normally, as I could not do this every day, and after a night like last night, I am uber grateful for the years of sleep I have had and the years I have to come!