Why I Won’t Appologize For Being Happy

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OK, I admit it, I am one of those kind of moms.

The kind that postway too many photos of their child on social media. The kind that always has a cute anecdote or funny story about their child, ready to share at any moment, when there is a lull in conversation. The kind of mother that has half a dozen of the same style drawings pinned to the bulletin board above their desk, and the kind that drinks tea out of a tiny handprint mug gifted to them on their very first Mother’s Day.  I am all of these, and you know what? I’m not going to apologize for it, not even a little bit.

Sure, to some, I may look like an overzealous, first-time mom, who is trying to shove the fact that I am a mother down the throat of all around me, but that is not my intention.  In fact, I was pretty oblivious of how obnoxious I may come across to others until just recently.  Nobody has said anything to me about; I just sort of woke up one day and realized, while making small talk with a co-worker (single and childless), that I might come across as your typical lame “Mom” type.

So, while I am not deliberately trying to aggressively advertised the fact that I am proud to have created a pretty awesome human being, I am also not about to feel bad about celebrating it either. I’m not going to apologize for being happy that I am a mom, and here’s why.

That mug I drink my tea out of every morning, its more valuable to me than the coveted designer purse my coworkers just brought back from Paris. Oh, and those two many photos of fun at the park or feeding the ducks, those are some of my favourite ways to spend a Sunday afternoon. Also, let’s not forget the ever-growing gallery of artwork hanging proudly above my desk; that’s my prized art collection. The one which I stare at when I’m on a never-ending conference call, or when I need to give my eyes a break from staring at a screen for hours on end, researching legislation.

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My journey to motherhood was not easy, carefree or fun. My pregnancy was long, hard and beyond stressful. I battled (and still struggle with) infertility from the minute we decided to have a baby, and finally reaching that finish line, with every possible obstacle smacking us down in the process, almost destroyed us.  I may not get another shot at this whole “mommy” thing.

This might be my one and only time to shine.  

So, I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it pass me by. I’m going to cling onto it as tightly as I can, for as long as possible, and never let it go.

And yes, of course, there’s plenty of other things about me besides being a mom. I love to read, write, bake and travel, just to name a few.  I do miss my time with my girlfriends shopping at mall, getting our nails done and going on date nights with my husband every weekend. These things have not changed, and they will always be there. I don’t like to think that they ever really go away; they are just put on hold for a while and I am perfectly happy with that.   

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For now, I am going to relish in the fact that I get to spend my days with a spunky, hilarious, kind, sweet, amazing tiny human (whom I created!) who worships me for no specific reason, other than the fact that I am his mother. I don’t know about you, but if you ask me, I think that is pretty effing cool. If that makes me lame, so be it. 

I know he likely won’t think I’m cool forever, nor want to spend every waking moment he can with me.  He will eventually no longer ask to cuddle in my bed, or run up and give me hugs and kisses for no reason.  He will eventually no longer wrap his soft, warm little arms around me and announce I am the “best momma ever”.  He will outgrow me far before I ever outgrow him, and that is sad and scary and maddening all at once.  

imagesHe truly is my biggest challenge, scariest feat and most gratifying accomplishment. I spent years dreaming about being a mother. I cried endless tears and endured countless heartbreaks and obstacles to get here. But it happened. I got my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and I’m not going to let it go. Not now, not ever.

I’ve got my whole life to be “Kylie” so for right now, I’m just going to count my blessings, and enjoy being “Momma” while I still can.♥

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